Unknown territory

So it's harvest festival time and my good friend Corrie is putting on the show. I decide that I will at least sign up on the volunteer sheet to bring the easiest thing and the most difficult thing just to ease some of the burden a bit. So I sign up to bring googly eyes and popcorn balls. And here is yet another one of my top ten lists. It is all the things that I learned from preparing the popcorn balls for the harvest festival yesterday. This is between the hours of 1:05 and 4:26. That's right....3-1/2 hours people.

1. Read the reviews off of any recipe you randomly decide to use off the internet--specifically cooks.com. It could have come from any kitchen in any area of the country (or world and people in Austria probably don't know how to make American popcorn balls), from man or woman, smart person or moron, mansion or trailer park (nothing wrong with trailer parks--no offense guru). You really really never know.

2. Find the candy thermometer before boiling the heck out of any sugar mixture. It turns to "hard crack" stage very quickly when the boil starts rolling.

3. When trying to get rid of any botched sugar substance that you were supposed to get to "hard ball" stage but instead got to "rip your teeth out of you mouth and leave cuts all over your toungue" stage, dispose of properly. Do not pour it directly onto waxed paper on the kitchen counter as it will burn the paper and wind up crystalized on your countertop to where you have to use a razor blade to get it off.

4. Do not call anybody while making something you have not mastered or they will laugh at your ignorance (and insanity).

5. DO buy your popcorn from a popcorn store. And buy a lot of extra so you can have THREE trial batches before finding the "perfect" recipe that you don't even like in the end because you slaved for hours and are tired of the taste and smell of popcorn.

6. Never think that making popcorn balls for a harvest fesival would be a wonderful "mommy" thing to do with your 3 and 4 year old that will give them wonderful memories of October 31. It just stresses you out and it turns into a "Do NOT bug mommy because she is going to have a meltdown right here in the kitchen and we won't be able to go to the festival tonight, and you won't be able to wear your costumes, you won't be able to paint your faces, or play games, or get candy, or see any of your friends dressed up, or have any fun at all because you will have to stay in your room all night long reading books that you have read forty times each and I'm not reading them to you because you are kids and kids just look at the pictures and if you want someone to read them then ask your dad!" moment. (It didn't happen for me because they were taking a nap--at least Ella was. But this conversation would have happened if they had not been sleeping or in their rooms.)

7. If you make a special trip in the freezing cold to Hobby Lobby with your two kids bundled up yet still screaming that it is freezing to get cute treat bags to place all of the balls in, make sure they come with twist ties. Make no assumptions.

8. Make sure that any sugar overflow does not drip onto the burner or the floor. If it is on the burner it will make your clothes stink like a Mexican bakery and if it is on your sock, you will track it through the kitchen before realizing that you have left a sticky trail all they way down the hall.

9. Do not sign up for popcorn balls.

10. But if you do, just buy the stupid things.

I will post pics of my beautiful babies all dressed up when Blogger lets me.