Top Ten....

Here are the top ten things I learned from 2:48am to 3:46am:

1. Explain to your child before an incident occurs, and not during, that if he is not feeling well and needs to throw up, go to the toilet and launch it--not launch it on mommy and the floor next to mommy's bed first.

2. The toilet is the best place to dump chunks, not the sink.

3. No man has ever woken up in the middle of the night to clean up puke.

4. Scan the room for stray chunks after you think you have cleaned all the puke up. If you forget to look on the floor, they will show up when you least expect it by sticking to the bottom of your foot.

5. Have extra clean sheets around so you don't have to go digging through boxes while smelling like puke while your child is still launching while you have chunks stuck to the bottom of your foot while the carpet solution is doing nothing for the pink stain and while you husband is still sawing logs.

6. Take your time when walking down the stairs to the laundry room with the casualities (sheets). Nothing needs to drop and create another mess to clean up. And if you have a lot of things to bring down, then just make two trips because a nose full of puke reak doesn't go away very quickly.

7. Apples are pretty easy to clean up half digested.

8. Chicken and stuffing is not.

9. Do not expect a man to get up. If you don't expect it then you won't get your hopes up only to be let down.

10. Have lots of Oust on hand. Puke smell doesn't go away right away.